Agony as feeling, subjective in its very own spirit, present in sub- but also in human conscience. In one close correlation with human cognition and self-understanding. In one correlation with collectivistic thought. Conceptual, contextual, individual.
Composition „The Agony“ is a result of one sound study. I wanted to examine the level of composity of sounds that have different sources: human-, radio-, electronic- and acoustical sounds. I wanted to find out what will happen if I mix human voice reproduced in one acoustical environment with sound of microphony recorded in the same acoustical environment. I mixed these two recordings and the result was one very strong cacophony. That was the beginning. It was a sound recording of the disturbing chaos.
Challenge was to create the path from chaos to one composition that has conceptual message. I decided to add to my first output recording, a variety of similar or physically same sounds that have different sources.
Sounds where added, pitched, stretched and sent through a specific order of filters, until I created one specific sound molasses. After that, I used FFT to extract specific frequencies and specific acoustical passages. Over and over again I applied one specific order of filters and effects and recorded passages and small particles that came out of the molasses of chaos that I have created.
At the end, this process generated several waves that sounded composable to each other. That was the beginning for me to start experimenting with energy that these sounds carried in them and I could feel that energy when I listened them together. Waves were strong and moving and at that time they imposed to me the feeling of moving forward. Music composers would notate these wave passages as forte. This is a part of my sound study that I call euphoria.
Agony is a feeling that is on the opposite side of euphoria in some sense, also there is no agony without euphoria, so I applied in one specific order revert effects and FFT filters on specific passages that where euphoric and extracted these reverted waves again. Later I placed the reverted euphoric waves exactly below euphoric waves in order to hear the effect of the opposite force.
This clash of euphoria and its physical evil twin opposition started to create a composition of sounds that reflected the feeling of torment and powerless struggle, or with other words, agony.